corgay:

if a girl says she wants to cut her hair short and your first response is “i dont like girls with short hair” i will shit in your mouth while you sleep

aviculor:

nuclearsoup:

you know what? i do. thank you for pointing that out

i have a feeling these online games are getting desperate for members

Can we take a moment to appreciate the Owl City twitter account

sevenplusfour:

kingbritish:

i don’t understand people who are against gay marriage and use the statement “i just couldn’t see myself marrying someone of the same sex” well 1) fucking duh you’re straight and 2) gay marriage isn’t about you special snowflake.

psilentasincjelli:

If I ever tell you I’m going to sleep and then you see me posting or liking things online for about an hour immediately after that, I promise I wasn’t lying to you, I’m just bad at going to sleep and it is usually a long process that begins with disengaging from any sort of immediate contact with people (chats, for example) and ends when everything on my screen is blurry and I’m hallucinating plot points I haven’t written yet

sircolinmorgan:

fangirl challenge: [3/12] actors » benedict cumberbatch

I don’t know about being the sexiest man in the world. I am barely the sexiest man in my flat and I’m the only guy living there.

leftforbed:

leftforbed:

mcsnuggie:

true self control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn

why would the movie eat my popcorn

nevermind i get it

pizzaforpresident:

if i was trapped inside a room filled with explosives and the only way out was to eat a whole tomato i would die

beyoncebeytwice:

i still dont know what rolling in the deep even means

fabricsoftenerd:

reallyreallyreallytrying:

yo i ain’t saying she’s a gold-digger but she does carry a weird pan everywhere and keep mumbling stuff about “gold in them there hills” idk so yeah she is probably a gold digger

your url is an autobiography

indiandaughter:

i’ll pay you $7 to have a crush on me

urbancatfitters:

i’ve been stressed out since like the third day of second grade